Movie Review: Slender Man

(Before the review)

Anthony: *walks in* Oh man, i've heard that there's a report that one person is missing in the forest, i guess il going in there to find something interesting if the person was there.

*one in a half hours later*

Anthony: *walks out of forest, but not in a happy mood* Thats it? All i get is nothing, like no originality or more truth?  Son of a B****...! You done F***ed it up!

Hey everyone, my name is Anthony and welcome back to my movie review.

You know, back in the old days of early 2010's, we've been fascinated about an urban legend in the internet known as "Creepypastas". There a lot to chose that we like, Jeff the killer, SCP Foundation, Eyeless Jack, 1999, The Rake and many more.

But one that it was considered the most talked about in internet urban legend is gotta be "Slender Man". Its about an unknown entity with large limbs, wearing a black suit, has tentacles and he has no face. It is said that when he's approaching or when you see his face, it'll coming to capture you in the most disturbing way. And ever since we like to talking about Slender Man, he has been adapted in video games. With the most popular game called "Slender: the eight pages". Not only the games, but also in the movies, including the recent one.

"Slender Man" is a 2018 horror film that was directed by Sylvain White, produced by Bradley J. Fischer, James Vanderbilt, William Sherak, Robyn Meisinger and Sarah Snow, and written by David Birke.

Let me start off by saying that im not a horror movie guy, i always like to focus with some actions, animated, biography and few other films that i like to talking about whether they're good or bad. But when you like to talking about the modern day horror films, they're just bellow average, due to the obvious violent and even cliche that most of them are unoriginal. But unless you're talking about 2017 horror films, they had some good ones like "Get Out" or even "Stephen King's It". Though i bought some horror films that i like to see these in the future like Halloween (1978), The Nightmare on Elm Street or even my favorite franchise "Friday the 13th".

But when they announced to having slender Man in the big screen, i was surprised and kinda skeptical that we all know Slender Man has a lot of appearances on the internet like Youtube, but in the big screen, thats an unexpected moment, bot oh boy... I definitely shown that i cannot believe that i wasted my time with 1 in a half hours.

So, how the hell did this film came out of nowhere?

Lets find out...!

The Story

I expected to be something creative like maybe a ritual story to collecting eight pages like in the game, right? Well, they wanted to be different.

The story tells where four girls, Wren, Hallie, Chloe and Katie hang out together like any teenagers do, not before they found a video that they accidentally summon an unknown entity named Slender Man. But after one week, Katie was disappeared for some reason, not before our three girls believe they were involved of the incident, its up to them to recall Slender Man to bring back Katie.

The best way to say, this story is absolutely boring, it has no originality that they clearly don't know how to make something new, instead its all about a victim who got disappeared from supernatural and a some sorta ritual. We had seen better horror story that we've seen before that are either alright or maybe good. Not to mention, they even include a subplot of relationship between Hallie and one random man name Tom and does this have to do with the main story like working together for a help? None, they have no connection to a main plot, which their relationship only happen for a small amount of minutes.

I can barely called "story", considering how unoriginal it was ever done.

The Production

Despite the writing is super lame, but the production looks rather average.

The filming location is not bad, they're obviously filmed in Boston, but it was written that it takes place in Massachusetts (Boy, am i heard of it before?). The location is pretty cliche, forest, in the old house and cemetery, though the cinematography looks not bad, but again, its a pretty cliche location, but sometimes it got too dark that i can barely see what's happening.

As for the effects, they're rather looks not bad, with shocking images, a cracking tree noises from Slender Man's approaching and some disturbing imagery. Its nice, but sometimes it'll probably may not be watchable if one of you are sensitive from Epilepsy. But other times, it could be very cheap that they use CGI, it looks soo video game-ish. Though its obvious that its a low budget film of 10 million bucks.

The presentation looks pretty bellow average at best to describe, and the quality may or may not the best looking.

The Characters

We expected to be something special and maybe meaningful of our heroes, but in reality, we have a lot of characters that they have no likability for their lack of personalities.

These characters doesn't have any explanations who they are that i have a hard time, all we have is eight characters in one movie, Wren (played by Joey King, its a girl, btw) is just a main hero, Hallie played by Julia Goldani Telles) is a average girl with Tom, Chloe (Jaz Sinclair) who's just a girl with no specialties and Katie (played by Annalise Basso) whos an obvious victim.

And the rest doesn't have any consistencies like Tom and various parents. But one of them is worth of damn is our titular villain Slender Man (portrayed by Javier Botet), which they fits nicely due to his appearance to playing as Slender Man. Despite for the fact he doesn't do anything, but only hunting whoever watching video about Slender himself, which it maybe make sense that he's sorta like a stalker when they watched about him.

The characters in this movie is a complete waste of opportunities and waste of money to hiring some actors that we may or may not familiar with.

And now for my final opinion of this film.

Overall, Slender Man the movie is the most boring modern horror film i have ever seen, with unoriginal story, poorly written, a pretty average presentation and the characters are not likable thatr we can rooting for. But Slender Man himself is more interesting to see, since he's the most iconic urban legend figure in the internet, but here we are, seeing him only capturing someone who watching the video about him. No eight pages, not explanation, nothing. I mean geez, this the forth time that i watched a movie, but now im getting tortured for the second time after seeing an abomination animated movie based on the reboot by Carton Network and now this?! 

I am clearly starting to getting pissed off like i did few weeks ago, otherwise il easily believing that movies of 2018 is an absolute divided! I mean for the love of god, just don't waste your time to watch this movie that it has nothing! Absolutely nothing in this 10 million dollars film! I mean, i'd rather watching some film that they're recently good like "Christopher Robin" or even "BlacKkKlansman".

And for that, im gonna rate this movie at 1/10 with also a "WTF level".

I mean good lord, im start to having a mixed feeling for 2018 movies, i had watched some good films in early to mid 2018, but then for no reason that im started to getting hurt to watching two of worst movies of this year, otherwise...   2018 is gonna kill me... Its gonna kill me, isn't it??

Ok, im gonna stop right now, or il going batS*** insane of bad movies, maybe i wanna take another rest and looking for some films that i want something good.

Anyway, so this ends of my movie review, if you guys have your opinion or any suggestions, let me know at comment bellow and support me on Pateron.com/Blackevil915 for your big request.

Thanks for reading, and im Anthony, signing out.

(review ends)

*meanwhile in Corporate Driver's headquarter*

Corporate Driver: Oh hoho man! two downs, one to go that he's gonna be in full on depression of movies in this year, cause il be very happy to get more money from my goals!

Secretary Driver: *giggles* Indeed we do, my boss.

Corporate Driver: And now, we're gonna keep looking other films for what he deserves to be even more punishing for his morbid curiosity! *evil laughs even more*

To be continued...?